Talking About War
What do you say?

We all know the taboo topics of conversation in the salon, sex, religion, and politics. It’s fairly safe to assume that most salons are pretty lenient about what conversation actually takes place, after all most conversation is conducted in hushed tones because of a clients need for some privacy when discussing delicate issues. However, there are times when we will be compelled to break the cardinal rules about appropriate topics of conversation because circumstances, or our clients, demand it. Now is one of those times.

Regardless of your position on whether or not we should, or should not, be involved in Iraq, the reality is that we are and clients want to talk about it. Before you go shooting your mouth off about how just, or unjust, our military actions are you might want to consider what your clients really need, and also what the rest of the clients in your salon need. As much as you might want to espouse your personal view, you need to consider the business consequences of your words. 

The first thing you need to do is try to get a handle on what the client is really saying to you. They may be saying that they think our leaders are doing the right thing or they may really be trying to say is that they don’t feel safe and that having our military take action helps them to feel safer. On the other hand, they may be saying that we should support the President regardless of whether he is right or wrong. You need to listen carefully. 

Whether you agree with their opinions or not, you need to understand that most clients are looking for reassurance. They just want to know that their worldview is still intact and that they are not delusional about what they think is happening. They need this reassurance as events and changes in the normal routines of life are altered to accommodate actions that they hope are directed to preserve their world in understandable and coherent order. They want to know that their understanding of the world they view today is the same world they knew yesterday, and that it will have changed in the way they think it will when they wake up tomorrow. Whether this is true or not isn’t really relevant, they need to believe that it is in order to carry on their life and maintain their normal routines. 

If you insist on promoting your worldview, you may make your clients uncomfortable or make them think about finding someone else to provide the assurance they seek. You definitely don’t want to lose their business even if you don’t agree with their political views. At the same time it may be hard to stand by and listen to their opinions if you don’t agree. So what should you do? 

It’s not necessary to agree in order to provide assurance. A simple statement acknowledging their view is usually all it takes to assure them and to redirect the conversation to something more comfortable for you. i.e. Your client says, “I hope they kill Sadaam,” or “George Bush is stupid for getting us into this war.” Whether you agree or disagree with either statement you could just say, “ I know what you mean. By the way, did you get that promotion you were looking for?” or “How did your daughter’s kindergarten play go?” You’ve acknowledged their comment and redirected the conversation toward something more comfortable. 

There are a lot of comments that you can use to keep the conversation neutral or to just let your client keep talking without agreeing or disagreeing. “I understand. I know what you mean. I can imagine how that must feel. I can see this is important to you. etc.” Any statement that allows the client to express themselves without taking one side or the other is preferable to any comment that might alienate them. You want them to feel comfortable in your chair regardless of their views or beliefs. The most successful stylists know this and always leave the client feeling like they made their point whether the stylist agrees or not. 

There are sure to be a few clients that are looking for converts. They will press you on your opinion, and if you disagree they will attempt again and again to convince you that they are right and that you should join their side. It’s unfortunate that some people need this agreement to be reassured that everything is going to be okay, but there are some that do. So, what should you do if someone presses you to agree? 

If you actually agree there probably isn’t any harm in saying so, simply and quietly so that other clients don’t overhear you. You have to consider that even though you may agree with your client, the client in the chair next to you may not, and you don’t want to offend them either. You may keep your client, but if you cost the salon someone else’s client, you haven’t really been very successful in helping build the salon’s business. In addition to losing a client you can create unnecessary tension in the salon and the stylist that loses a client because of your comments is likely to be angry about it.